It's all in your perspective


I like this picture a lot. I know it isn't for everyone. I like all the details. I like that you can see the thirsty ground cracked and craving rain. I like the green grass surrounding the flower. I like the view of the flower. I don't know about you but I don't typically look at flowers from above. I look at them from the side. whichever side the blossom is facing. This flower made me take it's picture from all angles. something about it was different.


I remember when I took the picture. My son had called me to tell me about this field of flowers he passed on his drive and he said, "it looks like one of your pictures". I told him I had passed the field but it was near a busy highway and I couldn't find a place to park where I wouldn't be a hazard. I thought to myself at the time, "this will be one of those pictures just for me".

I have those you know. Pictures just for me. I can't figure out the focus. I can't get the angle. I can't make the light work. I am an AMATEUR photographer. I take all my photos with my phones. I don't even have a real camera. I told myself I would buy myself a real camera for my pictures if I sold a specific amount of money's worth of photos. I haven't come close. To make matters worse. Since I have been off to "work on my pictures" I haven't taken a dozen photos. Something about the escape of the drive and the coincidence of view, time and light made the photos what they are to me. what they are to people who appreciate them. My photos are an escape.

for the past year now everyone I know has needed an escape. No escape to be found. Any activity we used to use as an escape has been canceled. It's almost as if smiling and laughing have been canceled. the SECOND someone starts to relax and enjoy themselves another bomb of meanness and negativity explodes. It's bizarre.


sorry, this is too dark for my liking.


anyway. back to the photo. This picture is beautiful TO ME.


and it made me think of something goofy I did a few weeks ago.

I purchased a red trench coat. Fire engine red. it was a final sale. marked waaaaay down. I bought it because I have always wanted a trench coat and needed a different jacket and figured it being marked down made it a huge risk. it had to be trash. probably made of paper towels or something.

I got it and it was a little snug in the shoulders but I figured it was worth the money. I am keeping the jacket. It is called a trench coat but it isn't lined and is very lightweight, so in my definition, it's a jacket.


anyway. I was feeling silly. I put on my jacket and took a short video proclaiming my beauty and did a goofy little dance. and posted to my private social media pages.

everyone LOVED IT.

I was expecting people to laugh. or at least smile. I'm a big girl. I have been a big girl basically since conception. at birth I weighed over 9 pounds. I have not consistently connected my appearance to my value. I have moments, sure, but 90% of the time I don't think "I'm no good because I'm fat". I do regularly wish I were taller, but that is because I need step ladders and stepstools to change lightbulbs or reach most of the shelves in my house. But height doesn't really equal appearance in my opinion.


anyway, the thing I noticed most about my goofy little dance and sassy speech was that everyone agreed. People who I think have a higher standard of acceptable appearance complimented me. one person even went so far as to say I was "glamorous".


I have often heard that the most attractive thing about a person is confidence. I think my red trench coat video solidified that idea to me. If you're confident and present yourself as valuable everyone will agree with you.

since you ARE valuable. you must present yourself as such. because you have to prove it to yourself first.

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