Frank and Wilma

Frank and Wilma are braving the winter just like the rest of us. I didn’t fill you in on Frank Jr and Emily’s trip because, well, It wasn’t even worth documenting. they still don’t have kids. Emily is terrible because they don’t have kids.

Wilma needs to lighten up. she blames her daughters-in-law for everything she doesn’t like about their lives and on the way home her sons and daughters-in-law consider moving to a communist country. Then Monday rolls around and they tell their coworkers the saga and life returns to normal.


the issue with Frank Jr and Emily and children is that Frank Jr doesn’t want children. not Emily. Emily is a preschool teacher. Emily comes from a large family and feels her uterus ache every time she is at Walmart or Target and catches a whiff of baby powder. She avoids baby showers and sends gifts with someone else. she doesn't hold babies because it makes the ache so much worse.


Frank Jr doesn’t know any of this. Frank Jr got it in his head that Emily didn’t want children because she came from a big family and had to baby sit her siblings and cousins. He sees her not hold babies and that reinforces in his mind that she doesn’t want children. he sees her send her Amazon gift or chip in with others for baby showers and it solidifies in his mind he was right in deciding they shouldn’t have children.


then they go to “Mom and Dad’s” and he has no idea why Wilma can’t stand Emily. Emily is a good wife and she will never tattle on Frank Jr that he’s the reason they don’t have children. she bites her bottom lip and suffers through Wilma and on the drive home she sends her own mom and sister texts and they remind her that Wilma‘s hair resembles a football helmet and she can’t even keep plants alive which is why all of hers are plastic.


so, Wilma and Frank have been spending a lot of time at the formica kitchen table playing cards this winter. They have put together several puzzles. they of course drink their Sanka. They go to work and come home and eat a Campbell’s cream of mushroom soup based casserole for supper and do crossword puzzles in their recliner chairs and go to bed. Saturdays Frank had started filling bird feeders and shopping in seed catalogs. He has started plans on a “squirrel proof” birdfeeder. right now he fills three or four bird feeders every Saturday and leaves them in the garage. during the week he replaces an empty bird feeder with a full one. he’s not home when the birds eat the seed but it makes him happy to feed something. Wilma does her laundry. She makes her grocery list and changes the sheets on the bed. Frank runs the vacuum and considers ways to increase the horse power.

It's a full life for them. They're happy. They might be the only ones


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