Updated: Oct 10, 2020
”Excuse me madame, I need to patrol the grounds. if you would be so kind as to allow me to exit the dwelling“. (My dog just came to me and said these words. what is happening here?)
”What? You want to go outside“? (did he watch some original episodes of Magnum PI?)
”Yes madame, I would appreciate it immensely“. (Yes, definite brain damage happening here)
”FBD, have you been watching BBC again”?
”I’m sure I have no idea to what you are referring“ (he’s sitting upright looking down at me. I mean, come on, he’s looking down his nose at me!!)
”Fine, I’ll let you outside and then we need to talk“.
”Madame, I have returned from my patrol of the premises. I believe you requested a discussion.“
”Yes. Thank you for making the time to meet with me. could you possibly share with me the questionable nature of your speech today“ (Ha ha ha ha I got him now. I can play his game. I’ve watched PBS longer than he’s been alive)
”hunh?” (boy, I’ve never seen him look more confused)
”FBD, stop talking like a lunatic. have you lost your mind?”
“Madame, I believe we should attempt to conduct business as professionally as possible considering the circumstances“. (what circumstances???)
”what’s going on Buddy?” ( I really am curious what these circumstances are)
”Madame, do not pretend you are not planning an excursion without me!” (He threw himself on the floor with this exclamation)
”I’m not going anywhere, no one is going anywhere. there are restrictions in place. I’d never go somewhere and not make arrangements for you“, I tell my precious canine companion. he really is precious to me. don’t doubt.
”I heard you telling your team they were driving you Bezerk!! Where’s Bezerk? Why are they taking you there? Why isn’t your puppy and his mate taking you there?“ (he turned around three times and then huffed back down turned away from me).
”Oh FBD. You poor baby. They were making me crazy. I wanted them to leave me alone! I’m not leaving you. it’s ok“
”you’re not leaving me?” (He looks at me pitifully.)
“I’m never leaving you pup”
( and he crawls up next to me on the couch and puts his head on my lap. All is right in our little world again).